Let’s all be a little more “fashion conscious”

It’s been happening for years but it’s only now that people are starting to open their eyes to the damage climate change is forcing upon the world- a destruction brought upon by human hands. Our modern world is one based upon ideals of consumerism and sadly in 2019 the fashion industry’s carbon footprint is greater than that of the airline industry, making it responsible for more than 8% of the world’s climate impact according to Megan Cerrullo writing for CBS News in April 2019 in her article, Fashion industry’s carbon impact bigger than airline industry’s. Despite these shocking statistics there is a lot which can be done to help reduce both the fashion industry and consumer’s carbon footprint and thus the negative impact this has on our planet.

With documentaries such as David Attenborough’s Our Planet showing the true extent plastic pollution is having on our oceans it makes us wonder what can be done to help reduce this. Looking at the beauty industry in particular with its colossal amounts of packaging, much of which cannot be recycled, we have reached a point where companies may have to consider approaching the situation from a different angle or for consumers to opt for more Eco friendly options. Lush is one example of a company that has always stepped away from the norm to create their own unique culture of planet friendly and cruelty free products amongst an inclusive environment. With the opening of the world’s biggest Lush store in Liverpool earlier this year we can see that a company can both be Eco aware and greatly successful with its three floors of cult favourites and exclusives including packaging free (Naked) skincare and makeup, solid shampoo bars and shower gels. Lush has always encouraged its recycling scheme where in which a customer can bring in five empty black pots and get a free fresh face mask in return to help reduce packaging waste. Now with Kiehl’s following in their footsteps offering their Recycle & Be Rewarded Scheme offering a loyalty card for customers where upon recycling empty packaging in store or using a reusable bag a customer can get a stamp and with ten stamps can collect a free travel-size product. Schemes such as these are brilliant ways in which companies can help reduce waste impact and encourage customers to do the same whilst still maintaining a heavy footfall in store.

However, it is not only the amount of packaging winding up in our oceans and its particles in the bodies of our marine life, but also the huge rise in fast fashion. Nowadays, many people look for something they can wear for one night then to never where again for the sake of never being seen in the same outfit twice. Whatever happened to those wise words, “quality over quantity”? Brands are under pressure to quickly bring out new collections at lower prices to bring about further consumption, yet many of these pieces last little than a year before being poured onto increasingly large landfill sites. This has led to a rise in resale particularly amongst the online markets to save many garments from a life rotting on the landfill, this also making luxury fashion more accessible to the consumer.

Following on from this, methods such as these are focused heavily on reducing the damaging impact on the planet whilst still being consumer friendly. Yet, we are not only trying to save the planet for the sake of the consumer, are we not? – But, also for the animals that live on this earth. Human interference has caused the vast destruction of natural habitats leading to the decline in many animal populations, whilst many species are vital to the well-functioning of our ecosystem. Despite this many companies amongst the beauty industry and beyond still feel the need to test on animals. In our day and age this is an unnecessary act which more and more are turning against with Garnier being an example of a brand taking a step away from ancient methods in so creating their new Garnier Organic skincare range, harnessing natural ingredients like lavender and thyme alongside skin loving ingredients such as salicylic acid offering a range of cruelty-free and Eco conscious products alongside their other ranges. Hopefully, in the future we will be seeing more products following suit and possibly putting the use of animal testing to a halt all together.

With this, maybe we can all be a little bit more “fashion conscious” both as creators and consumers to ensure that not only the industry prospers but our planet also. As humans it is our responsibility to ensure this, no one else is going to step in for us. Our intervention has caused this but our intervention can help stop it. And so it is with acts such as these amongst others that the fashion and beauty industries can help play their part in doing so.

Peace and love xo

This is a little piece I wrote prompted by something I read in Vogue on their talent search page in last month’s issue. Sometimes it’s nice to have something to prompt you and push you away from what you are used to. I say that writing and art are forms that should flow naturally from you, you can’y force your work, especially if you are not in the right frame of mind but little prompts and sparks of inspiration can help us along in the process. I wasn’t going to share this, let alone submit it, because it’s not up to standard, but it’s been sat in my files for a couple of days now so figured why not at least put it on here.

Doing what you love when everyone else is doing the same

In a time of self-makers and side-hustlers more and more people are embracing their passions and doing what they love. Our world is one of stress and pressure in which many seek escapism as a coping mechanism, for some this means delving into their creative side. From this and the help of technology individuals can share their creations with ease, with many even earning some extra cash from it, for some it’s a living. However, with everyone telling you (along with the rest of the world) to do what you love, how can one stand out? After all there are only so many variations of one thing out there.

With the rising number of creatives out there it’s hard to be original when everyone is battling to offer their own unique twist on something that has already been done a thousand times. Take the beautubers for example. It may be assumed that to make it as a beautuber is easy, all you do is sit and talk about makeup. However, with the rise in people to compete with a long with new releases from the beauty industry on a daily basis it’s a lot to keep up with. To try and compete with this content must be posted regularly whilst being well edited and appealing to the audience- giving them a thorough review of products and ingredients along with how-tos etc. It’s clear that people who work hard enough can become successful through making beauty videos (or any sort of videos for that matter), take Jeffree Star for example who has gone from those crazy My Space videos to a multi-million beauty influencer and entrepreneur with fans across the globe. Yet, much of Jeffree’s success could be down to the fact that when he first started out on YouTube he was already a familiar face. So, where does a new face fit into all of this?

This also goes for struggling artists just starting it out on social media, using is as a tool in discovering their style and what appeals more to people as well as what style and medias they enjoy most. Yet, with the ever changing Instagram algorithms it is becoming all the more difficult for first-timers to get their work noticed online. I can safely say that this is something I am experiencing. I for one feel that as a society we rely too much on social media and technology, and many of its trends and algorithms are like a foreign language to me (is that ironic being a languages graduate…?). It makes you question if your work is good enough or not and makes your wonder why you bother.

I am constantly having to remind myself that art and writing is an escape, it’s what I love. Yeah, I’m not the best at it; my grammar and spelling can be awful I am aware of this, I am inpatient and impulsive and don’t like to follow trends, I post when I want and these are factors that probably hold me back, but that’s just how I like to go about my creative process. The other day I was stuck in a funk and anything I produced was turning out looking like crap as I was getting overly frustrated with myself and I had a rant on my Instagram which I put all my arty bits on (@alanisthorney96). This is some of what I wrote:

“Art is a craft and is something to work at and I guess this is me working at it through these shitty mistakes and experiments. I wanted to be an artist or a writer when I was younger, but was told I would never get anywhere with it, it wasn’t a career, but I could still do it as a hobby. So, instead of doing something I loved I followed something that yes I’m interested in and do love just not in the same way. I was always that kid drawing or thinking about drawing, writing weird stories, but I gave all that up to pursue something that I thought would ultimately get me a career. I still doodled occasionally, but couldn’t work on the craft that I loved and now I wonder what my skill level would have been like if I had pursued art and writing, if I had actually done what I wanted to do. And then I see all these amazing artists on here who are ‘self-taught’ and I’m like where do they get all this time and talent from when all I can produce is this rushed piece of crap? I guess ultimately I’m just super frustrated with where I’m at at the moment, but despite this if you love something you’ve got to stick with it whether it be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or somewhere in between. Being creative and having art, writing and makeup as an outlet are some of the few things that make me happy amongst a hell of a lot of shit making me not so happy right now, so whether it be ‘bad’ or ‘good’ why should I give a shit?”

I hope that thoughts like this may help us on our creative journeys. Yes, we should still work hard and strive for our best, but our self-worth and value of our work should not be based on the amount of followers or likes we get because algorithms are shit.

That being said, something did spark my attention as I was scrolling through social media- a post from one of my favourite bands While She Sleeps, who being the switched on cookies they are have released a shirt to help raise awareness for the struggles of the music industry and how we as listeners can better support the bands we love. With changes in technology meaning listeners primarily rely on streaming services such as Spotify and Apple Music to catch their tunes. However, with this artists are having to fight even harder to make it in the music industry, particularly when it comes to art against money. In their post they stated, “But if bands and artists are to survive and win the battle of art vs money, we need to find new income to keep afloat. One stream on Spotify pays approximately 0.00429p to the artist which means it takes around 5000 streams to make £20. The same price as a normal band T-Shirt.” I for one stream the majority of my music as for a hardcore music junkie it saves space and is cheaper, occasionally purchasing hard copies to access tickets for big tours, yet when I do go to gigs I always come away with merch; 1) because it looks sick and 2) because as a fan I want to do my bit in supporting the bands and artists I love the best I can. I take pride in going to “smaller” gigs and festivals because I know that these bands are destined for great things and to support them on that journey feels amazing.

So, in these turbulent times for us creatives out there I guess my message is not to dwell too much on whether your work is “good” or “bad” or whatever you think it may be, just remember this is what you love. Yes, it’s important to keep working hard at our craft to be the best we can, that’s only natural, but we need to stop getting so hung up on the numbers and comparing ourselves to others, especially when there are so many people out there doing the same. Many who of which are also struggling in their own ways. The best thing we can do is support each other, no matter what point you are at, whether you are just starting or already have the numbers. We can all learn so much from each other if we take the time to do so instead of getting so stuck in our own heads. Take the time to support those of us and those around you who are just starting out. We are all trying to stand out in a world of numbers and variations, but let them know you see them and that doing what they love is worth it.

Peace and love xo

 

The featured image is from a series I’ve been working on (amongst other things…) in a new style I’ve been playing around with. I love art and music and wanted to pair the two together drawing figures with some of my favourite lyrics thrown in. This one is from Janelle Monáe’s- Pynk (feat. Grimes). It’s a step away from my more traditional style, but I’m enjoying it and hoping I can keep improving on it. You can check out more like this on my Instagram as mentioned- @alanisthorney96

P.S: I am aware it has been a hot minute since I have posted on here, but thank you so much for taking the time to read this…especially for making it all the way down here, hello! I am still writing just focusing on the more creative stuff at the moment and structuring smaller pieces into something I hope will be much bigger alongside other submissions and what not so thank you for bearing with and for your love xo

Some ways you can make every day Earth Day

On Monday not only was it the Easter bank holiday, but it was also Earth Day with many people acknowledging that just maybe we should be a little more conscious, as humans, of what we do to our planet. Yet, this was just one day. Let’s also take note of the Extinction Rebellion protests, of David Attenborough’s new series Our Planet now streaming on Netflix, or Greta Thunberg’s speech to the European Parliament demanding action on climate change…this coming from a 16 year old activist.

We can see the damage that the human race is doing to the planet with the impact being visualised now more than ever. There is no more hiding from it. Humans have a habit of hiding from issues whether they be the past (another story to come) or the present.

Now is the time where as humans we make every day Earth Day and make the conscious effort to change our habits. It’s true that many of us are lazy and get stuck in our ways, but despite this there are so many little changes we can make to help save our planet and reverse the effects of climate change.

So, here are just a few ways you can make every day Earth Day:

• Ok, first, because this has been hella annoying me in work lately and I’m ready to scream about it- REUSE YOUR BAGS OR BRING YOUR OWN IT’S NOT HARD. Working in retail makes you realise just how many plastic bags people use…even bags for life, yeah mate they’re for life in the sense that they’re gonna outlive us. Seriously though, the best option is a material based reusable bag that you can pop in your hand bag or a cute tote bag that you can fit your purse in as well as your shopping. Easy.
• Following on from this, lower your plastic consumption. As a consumer there are steps we can take to do this, for example going packaging free on your fruit and veg and simply picking up loose ones- and no they don’t need to go in one of those awful thin flimsy plastic bags, they have skin on them, they’re cool how they are- then all you need to do is pop them in your basket, pay and pop them in your eco-friendly sustainable shopping bag. Ready meals are also a huge issue as the plastic film and black plastic many come in are not recyclable. However, as someone who works in retail it is not only us as consumers who need to pitch in the effort but also the businesses and companies which provide for us. Being responsible for consumer’s needs it is their duty to provide more packaging free options and all larger supermarket chains should be making this a priority.
• Cook from scratch and prepare meals in advance as this will also help lower plastic consumption hugely. Admittedly this is something I could work on more myself in the sense of preparing more in advance, but I do cook a lot of meals from scratch. So many people each day rely on ready meals or pre-packed sandwiches, because they are the quickest and easiest options, but this comes at the price of piles and piles of waste making their way to landfill sites. There are so many tutorials on Instagram, Pinterest, Youtube and beyond with quick and easy recipes which can be pre-prepared ready for the next however many days to take to work or to have when you get home.
• Dietary choices. What we eat has a huge impact on the planet with the meat and dairy industries being some of the world’s leading contributors towards climate change and global warming. Now, before people get presumptuous, I’m not asking people to go full blown vegan or veggie- what you eat is your choice- but pointing out that by simply eating less meat and dairy you are significantly lowering your carbon footprint. The huge demand for meat on people’s plates has lead to huge plots of land and natural habitats being destroyed to do so. However, to grow something like soy, a plant-based alternative, this takes up only a fraction of the space (this is explained very well on the latest episode of Food Unwrapped which you can find on catch up). On top of this, over fishing is hugely affecting fish populations and numbers, hence further affecting the rest of the food chain.
• Continuing on from this, make sure you know where your ingredients are coming from. I’m actually appalled that so many companies are still using non sustainable palm oil. We see images of workers ploughing through huge spaces of rain forests to make space for these palm plantations leaving a multitude of animals without their natural habitat, or worse, dead. Either look for more sustainable options or cut it out.
• Bring your own. Whether that be a reusable cup, food containers or straws which are all super accessible. I see more and more people being encouraged to bring their own cups and bottles and it’s great to see people doing so. However, people seem to be making a huge dilemma over plastic straws??!! With many food places now trialling plastic free alternatives with the most popular being paper, people are confused and saddened as they have a soggy straw. Well, if you had a metal one that were environmentally friendly as you can use it over and over again and carry it with you as you’re out and about then you wouldn’t have this problem. I love my metal straw- it’s bendy and chrome and only cost me like £2.00.
• Opt for a bamboo toothbrush. This is something I’ve only recently done myself, but as I was mooching around TK Maxx I found they had a load of bamboo toothbrushes in as well as other eco-friendly goodies, so of course I brought some. Honestly, does exactly the same as a regular toothbrush.
• Refill. I think this should be so much more popular than it is. This point isn’t just regarding food, but also the beauty and fashion industry. We buy bottles of shampoo or shower gel just for it to be used and then thrown away. More companies should provide the option to refill. A few do so, but it is very limited. In the future I would love to see spaces where consumers can go into a store and refill their bottles. A company like Lush would profit greatly from this, yet it’s time to branch out and for other organisations to take on the initiative too.
• Or just go packaging free. Solid soap still exists and smells and lathers just as nice. Even better, now you can get solid shampoo bars and it’s not just Lush providing them anymore even though they probably do have the larger selection with something to suit each hair type.
• Say bye to aerosols. Huge nasty pollutants that you have to hold your breath just to use. Nah, mate, ain’t nothing wrong with roll on, which in my opinion works so much better. Or even better, solid deodorant bars!
• Shop second hand. This is something I have written about before and expressed my love for (read here). As much as I love fashion, the industry is another huge contributor to climate change as well as onslaughts of clothing being thrown away each day so that people may keep up with the latest trends and continue to consume. Through shopping second hand we are lessening this impact and know that we have made the cleaner decision, even just every now and again whilst mixing it up with high-street or designer labels. Don’t throw your clothes away, there are people out there who will greatly appreciate them.
• Lower your carbon footprint through car sharing, using public transport, walking or cycling. I myself am in need of a car, but this is because I live in the middle of no where with awful public transport and opportunities. I have not bought one because my legs can carry me where I need to go in the meantime (also, cars are very expensive…).

 

These are just a few things I think we could all do every day to help save our planet, some of which I am aware I need to work on more myself. Some are super obvious and you’ve probably already seen them plastered over the internet over the past couple of days, however I feel the more is said about the issue the more is going to be done about it.

Humans have a habit of seeing themselves as the ultimate being. In reality we are all the earth. We come from the earth and will one day return to it. One is all and all is one (yes, I did just reference Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood because the philosophy throughout that whole anime is brilliant). One day we will be the grass or the trees which grow from this earth, do we really want to be the ones who have paved the way to destroy it so many years down the line?

Love your body, mind and soul- meditate, exercise, drink and eat plenty, but as well as caring for yourself make the conscious decision to look after the planet also. Although damage has already been done it is not too late and now is the time to do so. Attenborough has showed us how parts of the environment and the animals that roam our planet have the incredible ability to recover, they just need the time and space to do so.

Make the choice to allow every day to be Earth Day and let our planet thrive once more.

Peace and love xo

What steps have you already taken to help our planet or what else do you think we could do to help?

Side note: this is just coming from one individual, everyone has different opinions and thoughts and I’m no expert, these are just little things I think could help. If I could flip the switch on climate change I would (who wouldn’t?), but then there would still be other global issues to deal with. We are never going to live in a perfect world, we just live the best we can, but despite this we shouldn’t sit back and allow our world to suffer the way it is.

Talkin’ the deep shiz

When you’re younger everything seems amplified.

Zoey 101 ends, you cry.

You drop a whole box of chocolate fingers on the floor, you cry.

A boy breaks your heart, you cry.

As a teenager you experience so many things for the first time and the best way to understand these emotions is to talk to those around you, more often than not your friends as they are going through similar experiences and plus your parents just wouldn’t understand.

We sat in fields surrounded by smoke and beer until the early hours chattin’ the deep shiz like whether thongs hurt or not, or who’s hotter- Pete Wentz or Gerard Way?- or how some days your’e so depressed you wonder what the world would be like if you didn’t exist. After school we would sit on benches until it was dark talking about our feelings- this thing called depression we didn’t really understand it just really sucked. Gossiping in the art room we would pour our feelings out in colours followed by the deepest shades of black because that’s what life was like.

We were young and trying to figure out who we were, or at least the person we wanted to be. And, there is something beautiful about that, people stumbling across the person they think they are or think they should be.

As we grow moments like these become less common. We have more important things to focus on such as our studies or work. The deepest conversation you have is when you stumble in after a night out carrying a box of half eaten cheesy garlic bread to your housemate’s surprise as you sit and giggle telling them how much you love cheesy garlic bread. Because, other than that, our time is consumed by responsibilities and you realise that all anyone really wants to talk about is work, money and politics. When we were younger these things didn’t matter- we were teens, we thrived on the intensity of our emotions- love, pain, sadness. We were experiencing so many things for the first time like sweet nectars which fuelled our teenage bodies. These were experiences that helped us figure out how to live.

Yet, now we are living the lives our younger selves never imagined, therefore there is no need to talk about the deeper shiz- it’s no longer important. We have given into the nihilists at our doors.

Nowadays in order to conform to the standard:

“Y’allright?”

“Yeah, thanks. Y’allright?”

“Yeah thanks.”

we must bottle things up. When asked if we are ok we must provide a short positive answer in order not to inconvenience the person asking. I mean who wants to hear about your problems when they have enough of their own…?

I believe this is one of the reasons why loneliness is on the rise, because in reality it doesn’t matter how many people you are surrounded by, without real contact or connection the world can be a lonely place.

This all may seem strange or a little off coming from an introvert of an INTJ nature, but considering the facts- not really, if anything it makes more sense. Us introverts despise small-talk. To me small-talk is time and energy consuming, I would much rather talk to one person for hours about a topic of interest than hear one person chat about the weather for five minutes. However, many introverts have to master the art of small-talk in order to conform and to give off a confident and charismatic air, particularly in the professional world where these are key characteristics an employer looks for…normally found in those more extroverted than ourselves. Thus, there are many introverts out there acting as extroverts. Although, what I do find interesting is that in many cases the practice of these characteristics and personality traits has proven to alter the traits of the individual, giving us the birth of introverted extroverts and extroverted introverts.

Leading on from this you can understand why introverts enjoy chatting the deep shiz, whether it be on the kitchen floor at 3am passing around a bottle of JD talking about how you feel like dying or over a coffee and some lunch chatting about vegetarian goodies and saving all the animals.

We live busy lives- busy and hella stressful in many cases, however we should take time to listen to others, to chat deep shiz with people. It’s important to vent- is has a cathartic function in that it helps release us from the things holding us down. It’s just as important to allow people to express their passions as the process is uplifting and there is something fascinating about watching people talk about something they are truly interested in compared to simple small-talk.

We can suggest that this is one of the reasons why talking therapy is becoming all the more popular and for someone who has undergone this form of treatment I can admit that talking helps (however, this is also to say that in more serious cases sometimes talking to those around us isn’t enough and seeking out professional help is the step forward you should take to begin the process of understanding what it is you are going through).

So, I guess what I’m saying is, take time to talk about the deep shiz because that’s the shiz that really matters. Dedicate time to forget about other commitments and stresses and just sit and chat pure shiz for a little while and you will feel so much better for it. And no you don’t need to be sat in a field with a bottle of WKD but hey that might help.

Peace and love xo

 

 

 

Being as a woman

The other day I was downstairs having breakfast before work and the telly was left on and upon the screen was Lorraine Kelly chatting to a young woman in a segment on upskirting- which fortunately now is classed as a criminal offence. This woman had to fight for this so that women didn’t have to be victim to something so vulgar like she had been herself. Gina Martin had been at a music festival when a man using his phone took a photo underneath her skirt and shared the photo on social media.

As horrific as this sounds upskirting has been becoming more and more common. However, thanks to the hard work and campaigning Gina has done this disgusting and intrusive act is now a criminal offence.

I think this is such a strong example of women looking out for other women. Women fighting for the comfort and safety of other women.

As a young woman I am fortunate to have a strong circle of women around me for support and with whom I can share my thoughts and opinions as well as confusion brought on by certain situations.

My job involves a lot of heavy lifting and one day I was carrying some crates alongside a male colleague who very kindly offered to carry the crates to which I thanked him but I was capable of doing it myself. He then asked me if I was a feminist…

I don’t identify as a feminist yet I am often told I am one. In many cases it feels more like an accusation, or an insult. I have even been told to stop my feminist rants by men I hold closest to me.

However, I forgive this as often it is down to confusion and misunderstanding. For example, my boyfriend scrolls through Facebook and stumbles across an article about the proposition of an all female festival, “because that’s not sexist,” he states sarcastically. I explain that it may seem like that to him but this is the point it has reached so that women can feel safe and comfortable in an open environment.

Over dinner one night my father debates when all this bloody feminism is going to end because eventually it will go too far. Where do we draw the line?

Perhaps when women don’t have to set themselves curfews in fear of coming across an unwanted stranger whilst walking home in the dark. Streetlights go out at a certain time after all, leaving us vulnerable.

And maybe whilst we’re walking home and we no longer have to hold our keys between our fingers.

Or the day we can ask a male friend we trust to walk us home as it’s getting late and they’re heading the same way for them not to assume they can come in for a, “cup of tea…”

Or when the group of lads living on the same floor stop the unnecessary bodily contact, the persistent knocking at girls’ doors, the harassment they enforce upon us.

When our arses are no longer smacked in clubs.

When we don’t have to constantly cover our drinks.

When we don’t have to use code words to help us escape an uncomfortable situation.

When we can walk down a street without being cat-called.

Or the day we can wear skirts without the fear of being upskirted.

Or maybe when our underwear doesn’t determine whether we are open to intercourse or not. A thong is not consent. Lace is not consent. Pretty colours are not consent.

The day we are no longer harassed, when we are no longer violated, when we are no longer objectified and sexualised.

When women across the world have the rights they deserve.

This fight is not about having a female James Bond or Doctor. These are literary characters. A win would be seeing an original strong female lead cast or story, not simply borrowing an other and giving it an unnecessary female lead in a sorry attempt at appealing to a female audience. What is needed is more discussion and education. Giving successful females the attention they deserve so that young girls have women to look up to so that they know they are destined for great things because they will be the ones to break the glass ceiling.

Across the world there are women out there fighting. For example if we look at the Ni Una Menos movement in Argentina which battles against femicide. Women are being abused and killed by their partners, in some cases even friends or strangers with many cases of violence going unreported due to fear. Bodies have been left in streets after being violated and many have been marked and left in the open to be seen, an additional threat. This is down to strong patriarchal values, inequalities and discrimination.

However, there are also men fighting. Fighting against toxic masculinity, gender stereotypes and for the women in their lives. Many men are under pressure from a young age to be “one of the lads.” If not there is threat of being seen as insufficient- seen as “girly.” This is also something that needs to be redefined. Not just the term, “girly,” having negative connotations and being used as an insult more often than not by the male gender but the pressures and toxicity seen here.

There is work to be done, but it is clear that people’s mentalities are not going to change over night. Yet, we must take the achievements we have made thus far in our stride and use these as a springboard to help us further in this battle.

I do not identify as a feminist possibly because wants such as these should be so natural that we should not have to put a label on them.

Is it so hard to lift and empower others?

Peace and love xo

Anger

Anger is often seen as a negative emotion with connotations of violence, aggression and hostility.

After discussing some mishaps with a colleague the other day he told me I seem to handle things very well, that he couldn’t imagine me angry as I seem like a very calm person. Well I can say I have a very limited amount of chill, but I did agree that I am not in general an angry person, unless I am hungry and stressed then I will turn into a tiny demon until I have been fed and watered, kinda like a Gremlin but not. However, I see this more as a natural survival instinct. I am somewhat tiny and back when our ancestors were still foragers I would have had to work even harder to forage food, possibly having to fight so I didn’t starve.

People nowadays more often than not seem to have something to be angry about, which is normally taken out on those around them, including people like myself who are just trying to get on with life. These occasions are usually about trivial things which are evidently a trigger for some other underlying cause. In most cases, just a larger trivial thing.

How is it that the ones with the most to be angry about are the least angry?

Those who have to watch those around them suffer, watch the pile of medication increase along with the cruel side effects that come with them yet have to put on a smile as they step out into the cold sunlight. Those taking said meds, who are in pain both mentally and physically yet have to carry on as though they are not because they feel as though they must. The ones who have to hide their identities for they are ashamed of admitting how they really feel inside. The people who struggle by each month with an empty fridge, sleeping on the floor, wondering how to pay rent whilst they work the best they can to make a living under the thumb of those carrying around Mulberry handbags, wrapped in cashmere, shouting at a young girl over a lost twenty pence piece.

Because, we can’t afford to be.

I do not encourage anger, I hate confrontation. However, I feel like anger can act as fuel to a fire, which can thus become a motivational factor. Because, in reality there are things we should be angry about, things that need to change. And sometimes, to make these points noticed, we need to shout to be heard. People are becoming idle, accepting that when it comes to the greater more important issues someone else will be there to clean up the mess that humanity has created. So many ignore issues, too busy trapped in their own bubbles, worrying about what leather Gucci bag they are going to take out with them Saturday night. People are becoming ignorant to the world around them, turning a blind eye because they don’t want to face the truth.

There are some days where I accept my fate. I am just an onlooker, there is nothing I can do, I am just one person after all. Some of us aren’t made for greatness, we are just made to survive. There are others with a greater voice than our own who can intervene, they are the ones with the say. Too bad those in charge are doing a pretty shit job.

Other days, I think no, why should my circumstances take away my voice? Why can’t I make a difference? I just need someone to show me how, to share a voice with, to guide me.

There are voices out there. Online, in your social circle, in the lyrics of the music you should be listening to. Growing up I was told the music I listened to was angry, but I wasn’t an angry person. I was told if I listened to this sort of music too loud it would make me deaf. If anything it has given me voices to scream alongside, people who share the same views and opinions as myself- people who want to make a difference instead of standing by waiting for it to happen by itself. People who are angry like me, but don’t seem it, because we wear smiles on our faces.

Anger can be channelled. It doesn’t have to mean violence, aggression or hostility towards others. Instead it can motivate us- anger can help open our eyes and give us a voice in a time when we need to be heard. Let your voice be heard instead of waiting for someone else to speak up for you. Pound on the glass ceiling yourself instead of listening to the silent tapping in the distance. Reduce your own plastic waste and give a hand to the effort instead of just liking a photo of a dead turtle choked by plastic rings. Don’t just put your headphones in when you can hear someone being harassed, insulted, threatened or abused in the streets.

Don’t turn a blind eye to the chaos.

Need some inspiration? While She Sleeps’ new track might help you out. I didn’t know how I felt about the song at first. The video made me feel uneasy and I realised it’s meant to, because this is our society. These guys are using their voices to raise issues and bring about discussion and change. And to me that is a step in the right direction many should be taking.

Peace and love…and maybe a little anger xo

13 Reasons Why: A discussion

Like many others I have recently finished watching the second season of the controversial Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. After finishing the final episode of season two my boyfriend asked, “was it good?”

Well, no.

This is something people often ask about any series not necessarily 13 Reasons Why, but when it comes to 13 Reasons Why it isn’t as easy to answer. Instead let’s turn to another popular question, “Is it worth watching?”

The series has earned its controversial status as it addresses the taboo topic of suicide with many angered parents saying this is not the type of stuff they want their kids viewing. However, the series does not only address suicide, but other very real and serious issues such as self harm and rape. Because of this, angered parents have actually reached the point where they want the show cancelled and removed from Netflix.

This is where I take issue.

Through removing the show or cancelling it we are in effect covering our eyes to very real issues that affect so many people across the world on a daily basis. This show is not being forced upon people and as humans we have the free will to decide whether we want to click the view button or not. After the backlash against the first series Netflix have even put up a minute long warning before the start of the series to point out the fact that the series may not be for everyone, which it evidently isn’t.

The first series came out whilst I was still living in France and I had avoided it at first. It wasn’t until people had begun sharing dumb memes on Facebook, I felt the need to watch the show, mostly out of curiosity and to maybe find out why people thought it was ok to mock and make jokes about suicide. I clicked play and wondered to myself what dark rabbit hole I had fallen down now.

A damn dark one.

Throughout the first and second series there are various scenes that are more than difficult to watch with many suggesting they are unnecessary or simply there for shock factor. Yet, these are shocking and terrible things that are happening. I remember during the rape scene in the first season I wanted to turn away. The moment when Hannah gets into the bath tub, I will always remember the sound of her cutting her wrists open. I wanted to throw up, but I carried on watching. I cried, not just for Hannah, but because Hannah could be anyone. That could have been my best friend in that bath, my boyfriend, a family member, someone who had walked past me in the street that morning. It could have been me. Anybody.

Mental health has an effect on us all, whether it affects us directly or through others. It’s hard enough for the person suffering, but can also be hard for those trying to help. This is coming from someone who has been in both positions. I can look back and say there have been times where I have been in such a bad place I wouldn’t know how to approach me either. There were days where I would just curl up not wanting to speak or move and when my parents tried to help it would back fire. Later on I have had full on breakdowns in my room and my boyfriend has tried to help and that has also back fired. Now, looking back I know that it must have been tough for them too, not knowing what to do or how they can help, because when I have been in a somewhat better place myself I have had to take up that role and it is heartbreaking when you have to see someone you care about suffering like that, you feel so useless, like there’s nothing you can do. Sometimes, all we can do is offer our help and reassure that it is there when it is needed.

Many say that it does not take the subject seriously and is in fact glorifying suicide through teensploitation. Ok so yeah maybe the storyline based losely around the book is beginning to drift away from the main issues addressed in the book, but through actually adapting the book and choosing to address these issues visually through the series more discussion is being raised and that is what I believe 13 Reasons Why sets out to do. The producers know what they are doing is controversial, they know it is shocking but it is through this in which they are getting people talking because as people discuss the series and their beliefs (whatever they may be) towards the series and its themes this is following on to more discussion of mental health, a necessary feat in this day and age with suicide being one of the biggest killers across the world. Whilst I was doing research for my Special Study (one of my modules for my final year) on mental health and well being in Spain I discovered that according to the Agencia EFE (2017) suicide takes more lives than the sum of homicides and war victims combined. It must be noted that many suicides are actually covered up through ‘external circumstances’ meaning that they are not registered as they should be meaning that many statistics could in reality be a lot higher.

This is why I would not say 13 Reasons Why is “good” because it’s not but I would say that it is worth watching, for those who feel like they are in a position to do so. It’s true that this series might not be the best way to get people talking about these issues, but its controversy is effective in the fact that it is getting people talking. It makes people mad. People are mad that Bryce Walker gets away with rape and are asking why. Because this sh#t is literally happening day in day out meaning that there are people like Bryce Walker getting away with rape and walking the streets freely and it is sickening and until people remove their blindfolds and face up to these matters people like this will still get off lightly.

Oh and the second season takes this theme even further with scenes of male rape as Tyler becomes victim of this, the producers attempt to make viewers feel some form of sympathy for him. Once again people have turned around and called this scene unnecessary although cases of young males being raped in similar scenarios as seen in the series are increasing. For me this was one of the most shocking scenes of the series, because I wasn’t ready for it, and I was horrified. This time I didn’t turn away, because it wasn’t so much the visual content that shocked me but more the fact that this could actually happen, that people have experienced this. Shock coming from a lack of awareness, I had not been made aware of this as this is once again something people do not talk about, just cover their eyes to.

I was still quite young when I first heard the word ‘rape’ and I didn’t know what it meant. I was never actually informed what rape was and I don’t recall being taught its meaning in school. So how can a person who has never been taught what rape is report it if they ever needed to?

Suicide was something I only ever heard on the news or caught glimpses of in The Simpson’s as yellow people fell from the tops of buildings screaming, “goodbye cruel world.” Yet no one ever explained suicide to me as it was just another taboo. I knew that people could choose to take their own lives but no one told me this was suicide. It’s like the word itself was poison. No one ever explained to me what could actually lead up to someone taking their own life, why someone would consider suicide. It wasn’t until I started to learn more about my own mental health and that of those I was close to that I started to form a better understanding.

However, this should not have been the case. Times have changed since then and we cannot keep covering our eyes. How are we meant to help each other if we can’t even talk about these issues? How can we report these issues if we are not even told what they mean in the first place? How can there be justice without addressing the issue directly?

More discussion and awareness needs to continue to be made of the issues addressed in 13 Reasons Why and although it may not be the best method it is acting as a motor for discussion despite its flaws and setbacks. People might not like it, it might not be ‘good’ but we cannot simply remove it or cancel it because we want to hide from the issues it addresses. Like I said we have a choice whether to watch it or not, it is just a tv series at the end of the day but we cannot hide from these real life issues.

Tell people you care about them. Ask how they are doing. Let them know you are there for them. Reach out. Talk.

Peace and love to all xo

At twenty-two

I remember turning twenty, leaving my teen-hood behind, and being told that the best years of my life were about to begin. For a time I believed this. So much waited for me in my twenties- I would live abroad, finish uni, buy a car, graduate and begin an exciting career which will allow me to move out and become fully independent.

Ha what bullsh#t.

Here I am at twenty-two wallowing in self-loathing after being rejected from yet another job, soaked and dripping wet with mascara running down my face as I walk home in the pouring rain. Frustrated I slam the door, throw my bags down and look at myself in the mirror with drenched clothes clinging to me, my hair dripping wet and black mascara smudged under my eyes. But, hey, at least the rain didn’t wash away my eyebrows. I wonder why I even bothered. Staring at my reflection I ask myself what is wrong with me? Am I really this worthless, so pathetic? Yes, I answer as I sink to the floor where I sit and remain for a while, unable to do much else other than be silent.

Here I am at twenty-two with my degree more or less at my fingertips, with no career lined up, no car and no place of my own.

Here I am at twenty-two sick of being asked what I am going to do with my degree, of being asked if I’ll be a teacher or a translator, of being asked if there was any point…I ask myself that question enough already lately. I’m sick of being pushed back when I should be moving forward. It feels like there’s this huge weight pressing down on me and preventing me from moving, just keeping me stable and stuck in the position I’m in, like I’m some precious piece of paper with ink spilled across it with a paper weight sitting at its corner. It doesn’t matter how much ink you pour over me, I will never be art. The weight will never be lifted to hang me on your wall.

Over these next couple of weeks I feel like I need to pack in as much as I can whilst I am still able to do so, before I have to worry about how I’m going to afford to do all of these things later on. Last summer, I devised a list of things I would like to do before I turn thirty (which you can read here) and nearly a year later I have not been able to tick off a single one. I look at this list and wonder what the hell was going through my head when I made it and where I thought the money to do half of these things would come from over the next nine years. Well, now I’m left with eight to figure this out.

Our twenties are filled with pressures, stress and uncertainties- we’re old enough to be classed as adults yet looked down upon for the generation we come from. We are expected to have our whole lives planned out and have our sh#t together yet will be denied opportunities because we don’t have enough experience as we were too busy earning and working for our education since infancy. As a child we are thrown into the education system and are bound there until at least the age of sixteen and for many of us we carry on to help improve our future prospects. But, as well as this we are expected to have years of work experience as well as our qualifications, be fluent in multiple languages, have good ‘people skills’ and be able to balance on our heads and shoot rainbows from our arses. If anything our twenties teaches us to work ourselves so hard to the point of cutting our hair off over the bathroom sink.

Back in school we were so eager to grow up. Sick of school and exams, believing that by the time we hit eighteen we would be free, because we would be adults. We will have moved out, know how to drive and we will be able to buy our own alcohol instead of drinking WKD in a field somewhere. Oh, sweet teen babies, you have one of the things that comes close to freedom in this world- the naivety of youth. Don’t get me wrong, I know the hardships of being a teenager, having puberty hit you like a brick wall is no fun after all. As a teen we feel misunderstood and wish our time away, yet we will never be truly understood- the search for identity is an ongoing battle. If only we would have known what was waiting ahead. I would ask why they don’t teach us these things in school, but I feel like the trauma would be too much.

The other day I watched my friends hand in their dissertations as I have not had to write one myself. One of our lecturers walked past us and instead of congratulating my friends I heard her say, “now real life begins.” We all glanced at each other and laughed it off, but deep inside we were all thinking, “sh#t.”

I guess that’s what the real world is to us.

I imagine myself being kicked to the curb, rejected once again, holding my degree saying, “but, look! I worked hard, I studied- I put so much effort into this piece of paper!” and being left abandoned at the roadside.

At twenty-two, I feel like I’ve learnt that you’ve got to fight to make it in this corrupt world we live in- we’ve got to fight for what we want. Anger and frustration is fighting talk- you gotta turn that into fuel which will light up your passions. Maybe, one day the ink will ignite and burn up my passions and show them to the word, because right now it seems they aren’t shining bright enough to point me in the right direction or to let me be seen.

Ignite your passions and let the white hot sparks fall from you like fireworks. Then they will see you. They will see us.

Peace and love xo

Does the rock world need saving?

Of late fear seems to be edging its way into the minds of many rock and metal fans as the question of whether the rock world is under threat has been a hot topic of discussion. Lately the discussion seems to have peaked with many music fans appalled by this year’s Reading and Leeds line-up, featuring headliners such as Eminem, Kendrick Lamar and Panic! At the Disco, with many asking, “Where are the bands?” or making statements such as, “I thought this was a rock festival,” and “Thank God for Download.”

This year we will also be seeing the end of the Vans Warped Tour which will be having its final run of the United States this summer, ending an era. Since being founded by Kevin Lyman in 1995 the festival has travelled around the States with a colossal and diverse line up of acts and ever since has been one of the most well known music festivals across the world, even being name dropped in Blink-182’s The Rock Show.

Are we seeing the end of an era or the end of a genre?

This idea has been circling for a while now as the music world is changing with many beloved bands moving toward what is known as “the mainstream.” Yet, what is “the mainstream”?

No one really knows…

Does it necessarily mean pop? No, I don’t think so. I see it as the combination of many things. The things people want to listen to in that moment. Something which changes constantly. Yet, this is something that bands and artists have to take into consideration when writing their music.

Over the past year or so we have seen bands take the leap into the dreaded “mainstream” with one of those examples being Paramore who surprised many fans with their new look and sound which differs greatly from darker notes which can be heard on tracks such as Ignorance or Misery Business. We’ve even had Bring Me The Horizon’s front man Oli Sykes hint at a possible move towards “the mainstream” on their next upcoming album which the guys are currently working with and experimenting on. And, this is something we must note- bands are allowed to experiment with their sound, because that’s one of the things that makes music what it is. So, if they want to should we not just just accept that instead of hiding under the covers? I mean, it’s not like their music is going anywhere, it’s still there for us to listen to, or not. That’s the industry, baby.

Nevertheless, people are still scared.

Fear not sweet headbangers.

There are many bands out there who are faithful to their roots and sounds such as Foo Fighters and Green Day. I must point out as well we are seeing one of the big daddies of the rock world headlining Download this year, Guns N’ Roses. There are so many acts currently embracing their sound such as Marmozets, a female fronted band who can not be compared to other female lead bands such as Paramore or Evanescence as they have their own unique sounds filled with energy and some raspy screams.

Over the years we have seen the rise and fall of various genres, but rock will not be one of those. There are so many sub genres in the rock world supporting it and holding it up, how could it?

Music has the ability to grow and change and that is all that it is doing right now. If we didn’t see change from the rock world fans would grow bored and begin to crave something new. Just because it doesn’t sound quite the same as it once did doesn’t mean it needs saving.

Let’s just keep allowing artists to do what they’re doing and listen to the music we love. In the meantime just sit back and relax. Rock isn’t going anywhere.

Peace and love xo